Killer Insects Update!


Those of you who were worried about my home invasion by two giant "prehistoric" insects will be glad to know I have investigated the matter further and there is nothing to worry about. After strenuous and exhausting research, namely asking someone, Have you ever seen a bug like this? I have discovered the evil insect invaders, who I suspected were either alien or mutated after a nuclear spill are, in fact, just common house centipedes.

They are apparently "harmless" to humans, but that's only if you don't factor in the fright and paranoia they cause.

Centipede-arcade-flyerNot to mention the embarrassment! I phoned every etymological research team on the planet. The response I usually received was something along the lines of why are you phoning? Do people still phone? We're in Massachusetts isn't this costing you a lot? Email us, you idiot.

Even though it turned out to be a false alarm, I wish to thank all those who sent their support and poisons in the post. Hmm, I assume the poisons were for the insects; they weren't for me, were they? Bloody Aus Post. Deliveries of books, bills and birthday cards are beyond them, but when someone tries to murder me through the post, they manage to find my address, no problems.

I'm sure this experience has taught me something, I'm just not sure what. And, as soon as this is posted, I probably will not think of it again.

Interesting fact about centipedes: did you know that despite what their name suggests, not one centipede has ever been chairperson of the Reserve Bank of Australia? You won't find that fact on QI.

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