Attack of the Cupboard Insects!

insect monster

I don't want to alarm you all, but I'm under attack by giant prehistoric insects. And by "attack" I mean I've seen some strange bugs in my house and I've interpreted the creatures going about their business as an organised assault. The insects seem to like my clothes and some are large enough to wear them. If there are any entomologists out there, please send a team over, because there's some serious HG Wells Food of the Gods action happening in my house. They appear to have several trillion legs, large antennae and cigar shaped body, oh and cunning. Although, again, I may have inferred that last one.

insect monster 2I don't know what they're planning, but as I said, they seem to like my shirts. Also, was open on my computer when I came home the other day. The insects could be preparing for job interviews. With the amount of legs the creatures have, they'd tie one hell of an intricate tie. This puts them in perfect position to gain employment in the public service or in middle management. If you're at an interview and see a candidate with mandibles and a mod shirt, run. Don't hang around, even if they promise to add you to their LinkedIn connections.

I should mention I've only seen two of these insects; so far. I'm hoping by saying "so far" it'll make me seem less mad. I completely accept that it probably didn't work.

If anyone out there can identify the insects from my vague description and photos from 50s sci-fi films, please get in touch. In the meantime, I'll leave the CV template on MS Word open on my computer and try to snap a pic.