As If You'd Like (insert), It's Just (insert)


Formula One World Championship, Rd1, Australian Grand Prix, Race, Albert Park, Melbourne, Australia, Sunday 17 March 2013. Full disclosure, I am a Formula 1 fan. The Melbourne Grand Prix was last weekend, which means I've endured quite a few negative conversations about the sport. Of course, no one has to like F1. It might not be your thing, or perhaps you have environmental concerns. All fine. But I am sick of people saying it's a stupid event because "it's just cars driving around in circles."

Really? That's your criticism? You've boiled the sport down to that? Yes, F1 attracts television audiences in the millions and annual revenues in the billions because it's just cars going around in circles. Thank you for your insight. Do you imagine you're the first to provide this commentary? As though that one phrase is going cause a fan to take stock and proclaim, "Hang on. You're right!"

Does F1 boss Bernie Ecclestone know yet? Make sure you break it to him gently. After the news has been dropped he'll hang his head and whisper, "My God, I've wasted my life."

Bernie will call all the boys off their yachts for a drivers meeting and in a solemn voice announce, "Gentlemen, I don't know if you know this, but it's all just cars driving in circles."

Jenson Button stands and admits, "Oh, it's true!"

Vettel decrees, "Goodness, we've got to go out and get real jobs."

This is a very pedantic point but there aren't even oval circuits in Formula 1, let alone circular ones. And if there was a circle track, the G-forces the driver would have to endure pulling on one side of their bodies for an entire race would be immense. It'd be a physical achievement of the highest order to finish.

Of course, having said all that, meh, it's not everyone's cup of tea. But in my opinion F1 is better than football, which is just kicking a ball in the air!