Free Pile of Hipsters


I live in the northern suburbs of Melbourne and I like cafes, Apple products and the colour mustard as much as the next person, but the hipsters in my area have jumped the shark. Last week I walked past a terrace house where some sort of hipster working bee was taking place. I thought nothing of it and moved on. But the following day when I strolled by, there was a large pile of sand on the road out the front. Stuck into the sand was a felt tip written, cardboard sign reading, "Free white sand!"

Thanks, you bearded twits. How community minded of you. What a utopia I live in, where we all get together and share sand. What was the thinking? That someone would walk past and say, "Oh good, I was thinking of starting my own beach."

Hire a skip, or load it onto a trailer to be taken away like a human and don't try and pass-off your junk as a contribution to the world. If you start a community garden; fine. If you start a community desert; not so fine.

Predictably, no one took up the offer, it rained and the pile disintegrated like the Wicked Witch of the West. The road is white and looks like a salt flat, or sweat stains on a black baseball cap.

Their dreams of a community sand swap may have melted away, but one day the world will see that sand is the new second hand clothing yard sale.

"Hey man, you giving away sand?"


"That's awesome. Can I take some."

"Of course, man. It's for everyone."

"I'm gonna put it in an hourglass."

"Woh, nice. Time."

"Yah, time."

Awkward pause.

"We're baristas."


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